Last Call for Sanity

The "debates" about the two ballot initiatives provided glimpses into the sharp piercing intellects of some of our local leaders. Your friend and humble narrator is mostly referring to Head Wound Harry Vukovic and Robin Bozian- leaders of what yours truly refers to as the forces of stupidity and darkness. Their statements during the debates and elsewhere in recent days are chock full of lies and distortions, but who among us is surprised at that?

Let's start with Bozian's performance. She began to lie the second her mouth started moving. Take this gem for example: "The public has been told over and over again that Marietta cannot afford any building expansion because the general fund is broke. This is false. Not one dime of general fund money would be spent to build a justice center or any building expansion." What Bozian completely failed to acknowledge is that General Fund money has already been spent on the Municipal Fortress of Vengeance. Bozian and all the other legal worms who try to invoke this argument, including and especially Council President and jurist Paul Bertram, should look on page 50 of the 2004 state audit report. That is where one will find that the city's General Fund spent $321,310 in 2004 on the project. Not only did the General Fund spend more than $300,000, but that money was spent during a year that auditors say the balance of the fund went from almost $3,000,000 down to barely $290,000.

Bozian did not deign to comment on the fact that the project has been atrociously managed since its inception. By now most people know that judge emeritus Milton Nuzum hired an architect that was not legally allowed to work on the Marietta project, nor on any other project anywhere in the country. As it is, the city has spent over $1,000,000 -half of it from the General Fund, Robin- with nothing to show for it but potential shame for the responsible parties. Nuzum and his disciples that still populate the court and City Council should be ashamed that they gave money to a fraudulent architect. Instead, those who should feel shame at the way they have managed the project seem to imply that because the project has been botched at every step thus far, thereby costing even more, it should go ahead.

The rest Bozian's arguments weren't based on a lie like the General Fund claim. The balance of her performance was the usual recital of how bad the current facility is. Bozian made no attempt to address the possibility of solutions other than a $5- or $6 million building. She did not mention that it was revealed in the Boyer-Halliday debate that the municipal court has the ability to and already does schedule some matters for the county's building. She did not mention the possibility of relocating the Mayor's staff to another building and renovating the existing one for a small fraction of the cost of a new building.

Bozian and the rest of her ilk believe in the promise of a new building and only a new building. They are, in fact, a very closed-minded group of people. Whether you think they are pursuing a new building out of personal reasons or for the greater good, it's undeniable that the proponents of a new building are completely unwilling and unable to consider different options. That's precisely why the moratorium should pass on Tuesday.

Another close-minded booby who performed at the debate was everyone's favorite head wound survivor- Tom Vokovic. At this point, yours truly assumes that Head Wound Harry has personally preached to everyone in town on the evils of performance audits. Preached to and lied to, that should read. It takes a bit more to parse his lies and distortions, but doing so is always worthwhile since his shabby management of the city's finances are key to this issue.

Here's one of Head Wound Harry's favorite distortions: "Twelve to fifteen cities from the entire state of Ohio contracted for a performance audit since the program began in 1998. The state paid the entire cost of the performance audit for all but three cities. Marietta would only be the fourth city in history to spend local tax dollars on the performance audit." The first thing to note is that Head Wound Harry doesn't know how many performance audits have been conducted statewide, even after he claims to have conducted exhaustive research into them. Second, the cities that did not have to pay for performance audits were deemed by the state to be in serious peril, usually from mismanagement by city officials.

Apparently Head Wound Harry believes that Marietta would be better served if he and his money management strategies, assisted by the criminal city auditor, were allowed to completely ruin the town's finances, because then the state would do a performance audit for free. Head Wound likes to paint himself as open to new ideas, but this is not one of them. Instead of being a city that takes charge of its own future by taking an innovative step (contracting for a performance audit instead of being forced to), Head Wound Harry, Brownshirt Shively and Turd Burnworth want Citizens to believe they have enough wisdom and financial management skills to do it all themselves.

(On a side note, Brownshirt Shively speaking for and invoking Junior Nolan at this week's Black Sabbath was priceless.)

Another tired excuse that Head Wound Harry uses is that the performance audit won't provide anything that Council can't do for themselves. Time and again Head Wound has said that since the state learned him how to build a financial forecast, that that part of a performance audit would be useless. What's really useless is Vukovic. He's talked for months and months about how a forecast is no big deal to create. But he's not managed to create one himself, even with the available brain trust of Fart Ordham, city auditor Gollum and other past and current geniuses of Marietta municipal money management.

Head Wound also claims that Council is perfectly able to determine what sorts of changes need to be made to better provide services. From that we can deduce that Vukovich believes that having city fire stations completely empty several times a week is a smart and good way to protect and serve. Another good idea is reducing the number of police officers on patrol, to the point where in inhibits their ability to protect and serve. Moreover, Vokovich also believes that lies should be told about 'out of control' overtime by the MPD and MFD, saying that it has drained the General Fund. Sorry- your humble narrator forgot that next year the MPD is scheduled to get CDBG money to start bike patrols. But even if so, where will the money for the bike patrols come from in 2008? Does Head Wound, in all his wisdom, expect to take a chunk out of the CDBG every year forever to cover the bike patrol? Or is it just possible that the budget for next year was just an attempt to make it look like Council understands that safety-services in town are stretched too thin, but not really do anything about it? After all, the city can't afford to hire more cops and firefighters because there's a $5,000,000 building to construct -and the lawyers on Council REALLY want that building. So if you feel that the current crop of city council members has been handling Marietta's finances in a smart and impartial way, don't vote for the performance audit.

However,

If you suspect that outside eyes could be helpful-

If you think that maybe, just maybe, Vukovic's main interest is not the commonwealth but helping cover up past misdeeds by Council while at the same time crippling the Mayor-

If you suspect that Vukovic and other past and current members of Council passed into law a 2005 budget that was based on a multi-million dollar lie-

If you think it's a possibility that Council is made up of a rogue's gallery of Marietta's worst (a cheating teacher, a hit and skipper, several imbeciles, a dingy lying poet who writes odes to his longtime companion and so on)-

Then you should vote for the performance audit.

It's been written in this space before, but is worth repeating: should either or both measures fail, the results will be disastrous for our once fair town. The forces of darkness and abject stupidity will then be emboldened. As such, it will surely come to pass that Marietta will get a free performance audit one day.

Good Luck!

Hit and Run Fun

Your humble narrator could hereupon give an explanation of absence, but very few gentle readers would believe any of it. Therefore yours truly will simply pick up the pitiful pieces left of Marietta and examine them.

The first issue that has to be addressed is the lawless, shameless, dangerous, and otherwise contemptible behavior of comrade Randall R. Burnworth. This doofus, who was so concerned for pedestrian safety during discussions of the ‘land train’; this lawyer who sits on Council only to further his Justice Center agenda; this beetle-headed flat-eared knave, who huffs and puffs and likes to throw his considerable though inconsequential weight around and who hit a preteen on a bike with his truck, is a turd. Sure, that’s low brow language. Sure it lessens the quality of political discourse in our once fair hamlet. But on the other hand, a fat cat "lawyer" who hits a kid, tells the kid to walk it off, does not get the kid’s name and phone number, nor offer his, and then does NOT report the incident to the police is a turd.

When one places Turd Burnworth’s behavior alongside that of his fellow Councilpersons, it is painfully and manifestly obvious that Marietta is being governed by a pack of slimes. Judy Wray stole, copied and likely distributed answers to state education tests. Brownshirt Shively has a way of making sure projects that will benefit her and/or her neighborhood get passed. Sam Gwinn is a puppet for whoever has their hand up his backside on a given day. Council president Bouncy Bertram resembles a sluggardly lion tamer wearing prime rib (or rump roast if you prefer) underpants. Tom Vukovic and his mentor and muse Art Fordham allowed and assisted in a multi-million dollar fraud upon the city that is still being paid for and straightened out. And that’s just the legislative branch of local government.

Let’s take a close look at that last one. As has been reported in the legitimate media, water rates are about to be raised again. It has been stated here several times, but is obviously worth doing so again: the city of Marietta has NO cash problems. Moreover, the city’s water and sewer funds continue to have multi-million dollar balances. The problem isn’t money; it’s money management. The plain fact is that Head Wound Harry, the anti-auditor and the rest of the stumblebums have no idea how to fix the problems they have wrought. They cannot straighten out the books, so the only way they know to solve these problems is to bring more money into the city. Be prepared then, gentle readers, because after the water rates go up, all the other fees in town will follow just as soon as the Maximus study gives little Tommy Head Wound and his fellow mental midgets permission to do so.

What’s that you say? There’re two ballot initiatives that are gonna right all these wrongs? Gonna stop the Justice Center dead in its tracks and get a performance audit done to get genuine financial data? Well, don’t be so sure about that either, dear readers. It concerns your humble narrator that it’s apparently assumed these measures will pass. Where is the discussion about them? Where is the publicity? The advertising? The mailers? Posters? Roadside signs? Where indeed. Those who are ‘leading’ the initiative efforts seem to believe that all was needed was to get the things on the ballot. Unfortunately that’s not the case.

Should they both pass, the issues on the ballot will only address symptoms, not the root problems facing Marietta. A performance audit is not charged with uncovering hidden accounts, wading through innumerable cash transactions (like, say, Aquatic Center receipts) looking for misdeeds, nor will a performance audit catalog other malfeasance wrought upon Marietta’s finances. A performance audit will only give suggestions to better manage our once fair town, not mandate such changes and certainly not enforce them. But evidence already clearly shows that no one in our municipal government is interested in better management. Otherwise, the multi-million dollar fraud committed by Council and the anti-auditor would have already resulted in resignations (other than Fart Ordham’s) and scorn for those who committed it. Now comes word that the state audit for 2005 (i.e., when the fraud went down) will not appear before the performance audit election. An interesting way to give those responsible for the swindle some extra time to concentrate on the election. For example, the lead criminal in this fraud, Art Fordham, has actually been given the task of treasurer for Judge Boyer’s re-election campaign. How’s that for law and order?

Moving on from money crimes to crimes against architecture, the result of a new Justice Center moratorium will not result in an improved court for Marietta. Again, if Marietta’s elected officials were interested in a better court (instead of a new court), they would have spent a million dollars on upgrading the current facility and taking other measures. More than a million dollars has already been spent on a building that doesn’t exist, except in the minds of Marietta’s legal eagles and one turd. That million dollars thus far has been spent on drawings, more drawings, and trips back to the drawing board to remove plasma-screen televisions from the would-be boondoggle. Despite what you may have heard, the current building can be upgraded for something like a million dollars. But Marietta’s razor sharp legal minds and the turd aren’t interested in actually making the court handicapable accessible. They could hold sessions down the street right now if that was the goal. And a million bucks could buy some really nice extra space, or rent out another space for the Mayor’s staff. But no, a practical solution isn’t the goal. A new building, that’s the goal.

Passage of the moratorium then is just the first step and passage of the performance audit the last step in their respective processes. Supporters of such ballot measures usually take some time and effort to lay out their ideas, arguments, plans, solutions and so on. In the case of the two initiatives here, supporters seemingly believe that time and voter sentiment are on their side, and that with passage comes sweeping change. But so much effort, time and money have gone into the un-‘Taj Mahal’ and the municipal fiduciary frauds that two ballot measures, backed up with no campaigns, are not enough to turn the tide. The case for the performance audit should be about the deep, systemic, arrogant and dangerous mismanagement that current and immediate past members of Council have perpetrated. The discussions for the Justice Center moratorium should include serious and varied options for a different solution to the problem and how we can begin to implement them on November 8.

Most baneful of all is the prospect that both ballot measures fail. The forces of stupidity and criminality would be emboldened while those who prefer to keep the boat nice and unrocked, thank you very much, would be satisfied. And then next up will be a truly numbing selection of ballot measures in the spring, such as the Armory demolition, tax increases, and whatever other cockamamie contrivance the turd, the brownshirt, the head wound, the cheater and the puppet can cook up. The campaigns behind the current initiatives would also provide fertile ground for those who are interested in replacing the Coven of Cowards as soon as possible. That’s why the effort should be as broad and loud as possible.

All those who crowded into the building at Lookout Park to rail against Head Wound Harry’s opposition to the Kris-Mar property would do well to rev up their activist tendencies again. Your humble narrator was truly impressed by the passion, intelligence and resolution from those who changed the tide for the land deal. But make no mistake, Arcadian comrades, if Marietta’s financial picture doesn’t get put right and quick, LL Bean-attired tourists hiking and pedaling through town won’t be enough to save it. As pissed off as you all were about Vukoovic’s insensible obstruction for the land, you should be all the more pissed about the gross multi-million dollar fraud he committed and the way he’s about to steal more money out of our pockets. Money that government simply does not need. Do any of you trail supporters think that people and businesses want to locate to a town where the local government increases taxes and increases them again, then increases fees, while at the same time cutting funding to the police and fire departments? You all put the fear into Head Wound Harry once on what comparatively is really a small and trivial matter. So now do it again with something of consequence.

Make no mistake; yours truly is not belittling what the Earth Day crowd did. Scaring the pee out of Vukovic is always worthwhile and the trail will make a nice addition to the town, but only if there’s a town left in fifty years. One more time- if our town isn’t a positive, stable, relatively cheap and safe place to live, all the amenities in the world won’t save it. Frankly, that means there is a lot of work still to be done. The events of the Kris-Mar meeting have long since been overshadowed by more ominous developments, like the ongoing and worsening trend at the MFD whereby all stations are completely empty several times a day, leaving the department unable to respond to calls. In such cases, nearby volunteer departments are called into action. For some idiots in town, this is an indication that volunteer departments can handle all such duty. Those cretins ignore the fact that local VFD’s are staffed with off-duty professional firefighters from the MFD (thereby adding to their already strained workload). Instead of giving the department back money they earn through the EMS fees, the pathetic slugs on Council hand that money over to anti-auditor Sharon Adams so she can hide the money or use it to cover up some error she made or really for whatever she wants, since she has no oversight and has repeatedly moved large amounts of money around without authorization or subsequent reprimand from Council.

Let’s not forget the MPD here. Perhaps you’ve heard about the innovation cooked up by the Mullen administration and Council to proved bike patrols to blighted or potentially blighted neighborhoods. Note that in none of the coverage of this scheme have we read about what the MPD thinks of it and when it will start. How come the announcement of the money was the first time anyone had heard about bike patrols? Did Council get input for this scheme from the MPD? And did Council, in all its wisdom, consider using some CDBG money to hire a firefighter? And one more thing, when was the last time a meth lab was busted by a bike patrol? Maybe that’s something the legitimate media can investigate.

Here’s another idea for an investigation: reporters who are hostile to their communities, petulant about their jobs and how such attitudes affect their coverage. Some if not most readers have already read the following email, but for those who are unfamiliar, here’s a bit of background. As part of their coverage of the Riverfront Roar, the Daily Dog Trainer ran an article that gave the false impression that businesses downtown did not go the extra mile to capitalize on the tourist crowd. Those who actually know downtown business owners knew right away that such a story had to be wrong. The merchants themselves were righteously peeved and rebuked the ‘reporter’ responsible for such tripe. Here is the ‘reporter’s’ response [Format altered for emphasis. -Ed]:

"From: Diana DeCola [mailto:ddecola@mariettatimes.com]
Sent: Wednesday, July 12, 2006 9:44 AM
To: [Business Owner]
Subject: Re: story correction

[Business Owner],

I appreciate your input but I did not make anybody look like bad guys and I'm not going to apologize for anything because frankly I'm tired of getting a barrage of emails everytime [sic] I do something you guys don't like. If I don't purposely paint a prettty [sic] picture of downtown everybody whines. My job is not to favor the downtown, although the lot of you would like that. I think it's a little hypocritical, too because it's not okay to write bad news but it's perfectly okay to write good news. I have done plenty of articles that say positive things about downtown. But I will tell you this, you guys [sic] own businesses, you don't own the town and I won't be pushed around or work at the will of the downtown merchants.

I was asked by my editor to write a sidebar story that responds to the fact that, as he was told, businesses were staying open longer on weekends and during tourist season. I reported what I saw and what was told to me. That's it. I am not going to check with every single downtown merchant and find out exactly what their [sic] hours are because, as riveting as that may be, I simply do not have that much time.

I'm sorry that you take everything so personally and you are entitled to your opinion but you chose to open a business downtown. Nobody forced your hand. If it has turned out to be harder than you thought, well that's a shame but it is not my job to boost your sales. I just do my job which is reporting. The bottom line is whether I knew exactly when places closed, the fact is they closed early, which is the opposite of late.

For the businesses that stayed open past 5 p.m. and did not see traffic after 2 p.m., that is a shame [But didn't she just say they closed early, which is the opposite of late? -Ed.]. Perhaps, you all could come up with ways to get people in your stores after 2 p.m. I don't know, though because I don't own a business and I, unlike other people, don't like telling people how to do their job.

Diana DeCola"

Some weeks ago, yours truly wrote to the ‘editorial’ staff and ‘reporter’ in question to give any and all of them the chance to comment upon this bit of whining, snotty bilge. As of this posting, none have seen fit to do so, even if only to say that Dickola’s attitudes do not accurately reflect the management of the Marietta Times. Perhaps that’s because they do, but who can say? It’s also very interesting to note that Head Wound Harry Vukovic has repeatedly and very publicly stated his approval and admiration for DeCola’s reportage. On a sad note, since DeCola conned someone at the Career Center into believing she knows something about writing, there are some poor souls who are paying to be taught writing by DeCola. Think a moment- a future generation of ‘reporters’ being taught by the likes of Diana DeCola and Dave Grande. And some people in town think yours truly is the problem.

Property Prognostications

There has been a considerable effort to support the city's acquisition of the Kris-Mar property. Unfortunately, the final decision is left in the very small (and smelly) hands of Tom 'Head Wound Harry' Vukovic. As such, here are some predictions from yours truly about tonight's black Sabbath (a.k.a. Council meeting).

- Head Wound Harry will of course ask for the matter to be reconsidered.
- Head Wound will complain about the loss of $900 to the school district.
- He will complain about the 'hidden' costs of the property.
- He will repeat the lie that the property is 'un-developable'.

Now here are the things you won't see:

- Gaping Head Wound absolutely will not acknowledge the fact that this property will tie into a nationwide walking trail system.
- He will continue to NOT state his true reasons for voting against it (i.e., Vukoovich doesn't want this to happen first and foremost because it is supported by the Mayor and also because it involves two [2] local business persons Vookuvik doesn't like or trust).

The lesson here is the same that others have already learned: When it comes to the Coven of Cowards, count on them placing their personal agendas and feelings above the good of the commonwealth. Don't say you weren't warned.

It Could Happen Here...

A lot of negative news seems focused on Michigan these days, so here's a bit more...

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/08/15/D8JH1IDG0.html

'Councilwoman Accused of Hitting Mayor

ECORSE, Mich.
A city councilwoman has been charged with two misdemeanors for allegedly choking and hitting the mayor during a council meeting.

Theresa Peguese was charged last week with assault and battery and obstruction of a government function during the July 18 council meeting.

Peguese's lawyer, Hugh Davis, said his client, who is black, was provoked when Mayor Larry Salisbury used racial slurs as they argued over a resident's request for relief from the city's zoning ordinance to build a modular home in Ecorse, a city of 11,000 about 10 miles southwest of Detroit.

Salisbury's lawyer, Bill Colovos, denied the racial slur claim and said the councilwoman was "out of control."

"This lady is in need of some serious anger management classes," said Colovos, who said he reviewed the tape of the council meeting and heard no racial slur.

Peguese could spend up to 93 days in jail if convicted.

"We admit that she had physical contact with him, but my client didn't choke him," Davis said.'

Meanwhile, back on the local front, tune back into this space soon for damming proof that the Marietta Times is actively hostile to some of Marietta's most valued Citizens.

Mediations and Preparations

Let's begin where the 'legitimate media' had their focus first last week: the apparent approval for the acquisition of the Kris-Mar property. Perhaps apparent isn't the right word. It's more likely that it is only the temporary approval. Since Tom 'Head Wound Harry' Vukovic was not in attendance at this particular black Sabbath, the vote to acquire the property came down to a rare tie.

The vote was split with the usual suspects in attendance voting as one might have expected. Comrade Burnworth cited the demonstrably false claim that the property is 'undevelopable', forgetting that during its last term, a developer approached Council about the very property in question. Since the developer was seeking support from the Coven, it didn't happen. So it was that instead of a lack of interest, it was a lack of support from Council that defeated a project that Burnworth claims isn't even possible. Brownshirt Shively voted against acquiring the property because Mayor Moon is for it. Gwinn decided to vote against it this round, making this about the third time he's shifted back and forth. The remaining members of Council voted for the measure. The Council president cast the deciding vote. But that doesn't mean it's over. Head Wound Harry is entitled to ask for a reconsideration by Council.

Your humble narrator must wonder here if any of this was intentional. Head Wound Harry knew full well that this item was up for its final reading. There were no charity Scrabble tournaments to attend that night. There were no man-on-man poetry slams scheduled (according to Graffiti anyway). What then could have drawn Head Wound's attention elsewhere from his dooty on Council? He's so diligent and puts in such long hours, according to him according to his wife anyway. Was it simply to not have to vote on this and other items? After all, the Kris-Mar deal, now in its fourth incarnation, was not the only controversial item on the Coven's agenda.

Also before Council was the transfer of several tens of thousands of dollars owed the General Fund that wasn't made in a timely manner, in violation of city law. This issue speaks directly to the dank, rotted roots of Marietta's only genuine and ongoing financial problem: mismanagement. Interesting then, but perhaps not coincidental, that Council's finance committee chair was absent as that measure became law. Therefore he didn't face even the possibility of having to comment about why the measure was needed in the first place or why he and his mentor, male muse, and predecessor Fart Ordham neglected to follow city law and thereby shortchange the General Fund in a time of 'crisis'.

Even though Head Wound Harry was absent, the black Sabbath was not without its usual dose of mischief. This time it was provided by the brownshirt with a pageboy, Kathy Shivley. Though the city's contract with the Marietta Fire Department lapsed nine months ago and the process handed over to arbitration, the brownshirt was allowed to scuttle passage of the mediated contract at the last possible moment, citing her own ignorance. Though her admission of incognizance is refreshing, it's also quite unnecessary. By thinking she has any right to change terms of the grossly overdue mediated contract, the brownshirt demonstrated quite a bit of ignorance. Doing the same thing to the Teamsters' contract was pretty insolent and ignorant too, but she apparently decided she was on a roll.

Yours truly has been insulted and impugned because of strong and unhesitating support for the MFD, but it's time to do so again. Fact is, in communities where sanity is more common, there is pride in and support for their professional fire departments. Fully staffed, ultra modern and far reaching professional fire departments are strong selling points in other communities, quite simply because they matter to people. Make no mistake- there is pride and support here, from the Citizens. Unfortunately, that support has not been translated into action by those in government. And of course this is not the only incidence of Council ignoring the strong voice of Citizens. Therein lies the key difference with other communities. In some cities members of Council are more interested in Civic improvements and the commonwealth than they are with improving drainage in their own neighborhoods, or having their road paved, or building a shiny new building in which to practice shysterism. Though barely a wart on a state road, Nelsonville is concretely supportive of its professional FD and its officials consider any talk of moving to a volunteer FD as ridiculous. The Coven's lack of support for the MFD is deeper than just one issue though.

Take the Kris-Mar deal as an example. Put aside the usual facts regarding how badly the Mayor has managed the process. Consider instead how Council seems desperate to not want to show positive support for Marietta in Marietta. Put another way- if Council doesn't want to spend money on Marietta's future, why should they expect anyone else to? Since the Kris-Mar property was to tie into a national trail system, the measure was perhaps more forward thinking and potentially "impactful" than any section of paved bike path along the river. But unlike the bike path, the Kris-Mar deal came from the Mayor and not Head Wound Harry or the brownshirt. Therefore it was doomed.

Council is even unwilling to spend part of money from the Gutberlet estate to stop the Armory from rotting. Apparently they are hopeful that the building Mrs. Gutberlet intended to save will fall apart before they spend any of the money, freeing it up for something like covering another budgetary fraud or better yet, as part of the down payment on a new legalistic bordello.

The last waste of municipal money claimed to be for the commonwealth was the Aquatic Center. Evidence of how horrendously poor the oversight of that project was will be trickling out soon as state auditors try to untangle the mess created by Fart Ordham and the anti-auditor during Ordham's last days in office, for which he received a state commendation. Setting aside the financial nightmare of its construction, it has never been claimed that the facility will make any sort of money at all past four or five years out. Even the city's recreation director (and Marshall of a horde of teens inspecting bags for contraband food) has stated publicly and repeatedly that she expects the Aquatic Center to be a money loser for the city within a few years. So even if one chooses to believe those who claim the pool has made money so far, those same people admit that it won't last for long.

Incidentally, all of this is why letters from Mrs. Fart Ordham have begun to appear in the Daily Dog Trainer extolling the wonders and virtues of the Aquatic Center. It's the last and most telling legacy of Arthur's time on Council. If the Aquatic Center is seen as a gigantic money-wasting failure, it will be remembered that Asinine Art was a strong supporter of the project. So confident was he, that he thought it unnecessary to watch the spending. To be fair though, he wasn't watching any of the spending anywhere in the city. Even amidst claims of impending financial ruination, Asinine Art found a way of supporting unquestioningly a water park, using federal money intended to benefit less prosperous Citizens. Others found ways and continue to find ways of excluding those less prosperous Citizens from that water park. But that's how things work in municipal government, Marietta style.

Because according to the working rules for current members of the Coven, and other members of municipal government, if it benefits them personally (street or water system improvements or a new place to work), then support it without question, which makes it easier to find a way to make it happen. However, if it comes from the Mayor or benefits the community as a whole (the Armory as community center, a green space plugged into a national trail, a fully staffed MFD or just a contracted MFD), defeat it at all costs. Perhaps though, none of us should be surprised that those who choose to run for Council have such corrupt and narrow goals. Few others seem willing to take on the burden and responsibilities. So our once fair town is governed by those who have personal agendas (does anyone believe comrade Burnworth is on Council for any other reason than getting the hall of justice built?) or those who think elected office translates to some sort of popularity (the Mayor) or those who've infested the halls of government so long they're completely unequipped for life and work in the real world (the anti-auditor). It is to be devoutly hoped that in addition to the support for current ballot initiatives and juicier petitions slated for January 1, 2007, preparations are being among a new batch of Citizens willing to reclaim responsibility for our fair town from this infestation of pests.

Ballots and Bollocks

So comrade councilperson Randall Burnworth had narrowed it down to six (6) people against the hall of justice project? He did say that, so it might be interesting for someone in the 'legitimate media' to record for posterity his reaction to the news of the week- that several hundred Citizens seem to be against the project. Several hundred also seem to be in favor of a performance audit, but we'll get to that later.

The apparent success of the petition drives should be sobering medicine to those on the Coven. Yours truly suspects that they and other nogoodniks, such as the anti-auditor, drew some comfort from the failure of the bed tax and Maximus repeal effort. Since those petitions died piteously, the Coven and anti-auditor may have thought it showed that most people were supporting them and not the petitions. Unfortunately it has subsequently become clear that the repeals failed not because of a lack of Citizens outrage, but because of poor planning. Also unfortunate: the CVB and Chamber now look weak and shoddy. (Here's some free advice to those groups- next time you want to organize a petition drive, ask a leper to lead the effort instead of Dave Grande.) By almost doubling the number of required signatures, the audit and Taj Mahack petitions show convincingly that the Citizenry is wary of the Coven's behavior and demands change.

That's not to say that the forces of idiocy won't mount a vigorous defense in coming days and weeks leading up to the fall election. As your humble narrator has already predicted, look for complaints about how much the ballot initiatives will cost. Remember- despite huge increases in tax revenues (See last post. -Ed.) the city is supposed to be in a money crunch. Therefore the anti-auditor and Head Wound Harry are likely to start complaining about the cost of Citizens having say in the welfare of our town. Comrade Burnworth and a slew of other lawyers will start whining about ADA lawsuits, lack of space and/or security and will presumably start work on a newer, longer enemies list. What none of them will do is address the core reasons for the Citizens' disgust.

So we won't see a long, serious and honest look into the financial operations of the city. We won't hear a discussion about the gross and intentional malfeasance that gave us the fraudulent 2005 city budget. We certainly will not hear a discussion about the criminally negligent fiscal oversight of the Aquatic Center project. (After all, if it's shown that they couldn't manage building a pool, who would want them to build a justice center?) Don't expect to hear an honest discussion about how Council finance committee chairs Fart Ordham and Head Wound Harry Vukovic have allowed the anti-auditor to manipulate city finances without regard to law and common sense. Don't plan on hearing discussions about ways other than an ugly new building to provide the court with more space. And above all dear readers, don't expect any honesty from those on the Coven when it comes to these issues.

We already know that comrade Burnworth was less than honest about the number of opponents to the hall of justice. Now we also have pretty telling proof that Head Wound Harry lied about performance audits. Shocking, true, but there it was, all over the 'legitimate media' this week. On Thursday, WMOA ran a story about how cities have found performance audits useful. Here are some highlights from that story: "…surveyed a sample of communities who have conducted performance audits in recent years and found unanimous praise for the audit. … Two prominent elected officials in the City of Fostoria said that the audit findings are used on a regular basis to continue to make improvements to better operate city departments. … One official in Galion said that everyone he has talked to who understands municipal finance is in favor of a performance audit. He dismissed the notion that the performance audit is vague and pointed to the fact that some audits are 200 to 300 pages in length. … The performance audit for the City of Jackson outlined ways to establish standard operating procedures, clarify duties of each city employee, better gauge and then utilize public concerns, ways to improve public services, strategies for reducing overtime, and numerous specific revenue enhancements and cost reductions. The audit also contained ways to restructure various city departments to better deliver services and to meet peer benchmarks."

Your humble narrator pulled out a lot from that story because each passage directly refutes claims made publicly and repeatedly by Head Wound Harry Vookoovich. Moreover, they refute his claims that specific cities say the audits are worthless. Not only did Head Wound Harry say they are useless, but he also claimed that officials in Jackson say the same thing. If you've not done so, click on the link above and read the whole story, then print it out and carry it around with you to ward off Head Wound Harry next time he's stalking people on Front Street spreading misinformation about performance audits.

"But hang on, Professor," some are likely saying, "the Daily Dog Trainer ran a story on Saturday with the headline 'Performance audits' value uncertain'. So what's the real deal?" The real deal is that the headline didn't match the contents of the story. Four cities are discussed and officials in all but one agree that the performance audits are useful. In some circles a 75% approval rating means something isn't "uncertain" but not for the crackerjack Dog Trainer staff. The story isn't a total waste though. Since the Dog Trainer mostly talked to the same cities mentioned in the earlier WMOA story, we have further proof that Head Wound Harry seems to have been something less than honest when he claimed that the fine people of Jackson think the audits are only good for "political cover". Surely though, that doesn't mean Head Wound Harry would be less than honest about other things, does it?

Speaking of less than honest, it's past due that yours truly clarify the issue of the Coven's pay raise. When brownshirt Cathy Shively claimed that she had not voted for and had not received a pay raise, she was precisely correct, but only in a Clintonian sense. It's true that Shively was not on Council during the last term, when the pay raise was passed. It's also true that pay raise has not happened yet. However, it is slated to begin in January of 2007. So while she and comrade Burnworth and the rest of the all stars of the municipal league haven't seen pay raises yet, they will in the new year. That is not to say that they will enjoy those raises all year. After all, your humble narrator knows full well there are calendar watchers out there waiting for January 1, 2007.

By the by, it may be grim humor for some, but the Coven passed said pay raise in order for members to receive full-time retirement benefits from the state. Interesting how these layabouts are so concerned with their twilight years. In an ideal world, the state would indeed be providing for them in those years, complete with a smallish 6' by 10' apartment and three meals a day. Alack alas, that doesn't seem to be in the offing. Even disgraced though shameless cheater and Councilperson Judy Wray is reportedly going to get retirement benefits. Perhaps that's the American dream for her ilk- people without a future and a lackluster past taken care of by the Citizenry they've cheated.

But let us not end this session on a negative. Let's be positive. Don't let Head Wound Harry tell you performance audits are worthless, be positive and say you know differently. Don't let comrade Burnworth try to count all the way to 828 by himself, be positive and help him when he gets past 10. But the most positive thing you can do is remember that November is soon and January is right on its heels.

Nattering Nabobs and Nincompoops

To start off, let's vivisect one of the frequent arguments being used against the petitions/ballot initiatives. Some people are claiming that such efforts are somehow contrary to our system of government. Take this sample from a Daily Dog Trainer letter: "I strongly believe that the referendum process is flawed and the antithesis of our chosen form of government. We elect our City Council members to represent us and, hopefully, our views on the operation of this city. That means, for better or for worse, they get to choose and decide. But, a plebiscite when a group of the citizens disagrees with an act of council serves to undermine the form of government we use." Such sentiments have a convenient way of neglecting the fact that recalls, petitions and ballot initiatives are built into the form of government we use. Far from "undermining" our government, when Citizens decide that those who've been elected to tend the commonwealth are not doing so, then Citizens have a right as well as a way to take action. That's really how the system is structured. After all- these ideas came from the Ohio Revised Code, not "The Turner Diaries". Anyway, since some members of the Coven have been quoted recently as suggesting a citywide ballot initiative regarding the Armory, none of them should be complaining.

Of course, the suggestions by the Coven regarding the Armory issue really amount to an effort to kill the whole restoration effort. Even yours truly recognizes that a new levy to pay for the Armory would likely fail. The other mentioned possibility is putting Mayor Mullen's current 'plan' for the facility on the ballot. But Mullen's alleged plan is not the only possibility for the Armory. Maybe voters should simply be asked whether or not the city should spend the $533,000 bequeathment to fix the roof. Otherwise the Coven will sit on that money, not spending it as they should, while the rain pours in through the ceiling. Once the roof is fixed, there would be ample time to develop a serious and viable plan for the building. After the roof is stabilized, real life business professionals would be more willing to look into the possibilities of the building and they would most probably have better ideas than the Mayor. If you want to plan a hootenanny, call Moon Mullen. But if you want to renovate a military facility- don't.

While we're tossing around ideas for more ballot initiatives, how about one regarding funding and staffing for the Marietta Fire Department? This is a valid concern since it's clearer than ever that Marietta is NOT suffering from an income crisis. Remember- one of the most frequent complaints heard from elected officials, most especially the anti-auditor and certain members of the Coven, is that Marietta is strapped for income. That is the key excuse why all money from the EMS fees 'must' be left in the city's General Fund. How then to explain this from the Daily Dog Trainer: "Commenting on the auditor's revenue report, committee chair Tom Vukovic noted that at the year's halfway mark, real estate taxes are up by 39 percent. He also said income tax collection was up $281,980 for the year." Whoa now- read that again. Halfway through the year and income tax revenue is up more than a quarter of a million dollars? So what was the need for the trifling bed tax increase? The $70,000 from the bed tax increase is less than a fourth of the increase already seen in income taxes. In a well-governed Marietta, such news would mean that the MFD could use some of the EMS money for the MFD. But we all know this ain't a well-governed Marietta.

The increase in revenue really shouldn't come as much of a surprise to readers of this space. It's been known for a long time that revenues are not going down. Between the increases in tax collections and 'belt tightening' measures adopted by Council since last year, the city has already more than made up for the $1,400,000 shortfall written into the 2006 city budget. So where has all that money been going? No one can say and no one is yet willing to look into it.

Evidence that the money isn't being managed well was right there in plain view at the Coven's most recent Black Sabbath. At that meeting, the Coven heard first reading of an ordinance to pay the state auditor's office an extra $5,000 to "prepare financial statements" for the city for the year 2005. The state auditors would be doing this work on top of the regular audit of city finances. Absolutely no one in the 'legitimate media' has looked into this, but the meaning is obvious: the city does not have adequate financial statements for the year 2005. The only comment from a member of the Coven about this matter came from "Head Wound Harry" who only mentioned it so he could make sure everyone knows that the city is already paying over $60,000 for the regular audit. Instead of whining about the freaking price though, perhaps Head Wound Harry should be asking why in Hell the city has to pay the extra five grand when we're already paying the anti-auditor many times that amount to provide what are supposed to be usable financial statements.

Perhaps we shouldn't be so hasty in picking on the poet Head Wound Harry. Not only is he busy skulking up and down Front Street talking down performance audits and those in favor of them, he's also really busy planning to develop a financial forecast. His excuse for not having one completed yet is that the assistant safety-service director recently quit, so now poor Head Wound Harry has to start all over again, with a new 'workshop' for the new ASS director, the anti-auditor and the other heavyweights of Marietta's money management brain trust. Anyway, the forecast isn't done, might be done, but just so you know, Head Wound Harry says it will "take time and effort", so don't get your hopes up.

Presumably it took "time and effort" for comrade councilperson Randall Burnworth to count to six, but he managed to do it and we're all very impressed. Too bad he was counting- to his estimation- those who are in opposition to the justice center project. Though it's obviously news to comrade Burnworth, there are actually only about six people in favor of the project, and they're easy to spot at city Council meetings, sitting behind the table. When they show up, that is. And here's another interesting tidbit Randall may have missed: most of the supporters for the new court work in the legal profession. Weird, huh?

It's been pointed out in this space before, but Burnworth seems to have some really innovative ideas about law and government. "Innovative" in this instance meaning "insidious". Not only does comrade Burnworth see no problem with wiping out all parking laws to get one building built, and not only is he hostile to the rights of Citizens and legally binding committees who dare disagree with him, Burnworth has no problem announcing that he's drawn up an enemies list. Richard Nixon's enemies list at least had some star power (Paul Newman) and it was supposed to be a secret. Burnworth's list is a petty thing from a petty mind, which makes him, sadly, even less clever than Nixon. Yours truly hopes the comrade keeps talking. Every time he does, the true quality and caliber of justice center supporters shines anew.